


The Missing Piece

by starvonnie



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, sparkplay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-08
Updated: 2016-10-08
Packaged: 2018-08-20 04:33:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8236196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starvonnie/pseuds/starvonnie
Summary: Megatron may have tossed his Decepticon insignia aside, but his decision will haunt him for the rest of his life.
Based on the idea that sparkmerging would be painful for Decepticons/Ex-Decepticons because they used a piece of their spark chamber to make their symbol.  
Harutemu made me think of this: http://harutemu.tumblr.com/post/151446057267/angsty-robot-thought-because-parts-of-their-spark





	

A scream rang through the dark room, illuminated only by a green, now crackling, spark.  Arcs of electricity grounded on any nearby metal, turning Megatron's chest into a light show of pain.  They hit Rodimus' quickly retreating hand as well, but he stifled his own yelp.  His pain didn't matter.  He'd hurt Megatron.

"I'm sorry!"  He waited until the bolts calmed to static, then leaned down to kiss his conjunx on his forehelm.  He kissed his cheek next, feeling it still tense beneath his lips, denta creaking under the stress.  "I'll be more careful," he promised, sitting back up.

A hand came up to cover Megatron's face.  All Rodimus could see was his clenched denta.  Then, they relaxed, a resigned sigh sweeping out his vents.

"I was worried about this," Megatron admitted in a small voice.

Rodimus felt like he'd been slapped.  But the throb of pain ebbed back into a familiar numbness. 

"I'm sorry," Rodimus said, his hands coming to rest together, looking off to Megatron's side.  "We don't have to, I...  I wouldn't want my clumsy hands near my spark either."  He was half off of him when Megatron when he stopped him.

"No, Rodimus, it's not you."  Megatron's hand slid up Rodimus' arm and over to his face, where his thumb made comforting strokes on his cheek.  "You were as careful as you could be."

"But I hurt you!"

"No.  I hurt myself."  Megatron was either unable or unwilling to meet Rodimus' gaze.

In lieu of his conjunx's optics, Rodimus instead looked to his spark, finally calm.  He had to squint a bit.  In the darkness it shone almost as bright as a sun.  A beautiful sun that belonged to him.  Why anyone would trust him with that light, with that majesty, he would never know.  But it beat for him, at least that was what Megatron had said.

Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, beyond the colour.  Not that Rodimus had seen many sparks.  And more often than not the ones he had seen weren't meant to be seen then, and he never saw those for very long.

The shifting of metal was heard, and Megatron's spark chamber closed.  Only...  It didn't.  At least not fully.  A more concentrated beam of light still shone through the sizable hole that had Rodimus gasping in horror.

"Megatron, are you..."  Rodimus lifted his gaze to Megatron's face, but he still refused to look at him.  "...missing part of your spark chamber?"

A wave of embarrassment and shame swept through Megatron's field and into Rodimus'.  He quickly sent back comfort and love.  There would be no judgement here.  Then he found one of Megatron's hands and held it tight, feeling him grip back even more fiercely.

"I always thought it was just a rumour," Rodimus murmured.  "But you really make the Decepticon insignias out of your spark chambers?"

"It showed dedication," Megatron admitted, voice just barely audible.

"Yeah, but...  A bit extreme, don'tcha think?"

"Do you want me to explain every decision I made during the war?" Megatron roared, suddenly sitting up and pushing Rodimus off.  Rage flooded his field, but Rodimus could still feel the mortification feeding into it.  And under all of that, the pain.  Not physical.

Rodimus hugged himself, gaze cast down.  He shut his chest.  Even without a sparkbond, it still ached at his conjunx's pain.

Megatron's helm fell into his hands, but before he could completely curl in on himself-- before Rodimus lost another night to his self-loathing-- he put a hand on his back.  Gently, so he could pull away if he wished, but he turned a little at the touch.  Just enough for Rodimus to see the corner of one ruby optic.  Then he was turning quickly, falling into Rodimus waiting arms.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, kissing the plating beneath which Rodimus spark sat.  "I shouldn't take this out on you.  I'm just frustrated.  I know how much you wanted this."

Placing a soft kiss on the top of his helm, Rodimus murmured, "Not if it will hurt you."

"We didn't need bonds.  We didn't need love.  We had to focus on the war.  I needed a way to ensure that we wouldn't be distracted.  That when I lost one soldier, I didn't lose another to grief."  Megatron's arms were almost crushing, but it was a good sort of pain.  "I'm sorry, Rodimus."  Again he kissed above his spark.  "I'm so sorry."

"Why are you apologizing to me?  You're the one in pain!"  Rodimus hugged his helm.

Megatron brought his hand up beside his helm, and Rodimus felt his field thrum with sorrow and with comfort, pooling around the hand above his spark chamber.  "So are you."

"That doesn't matter."  Rodimus pulled him up more so they were properly embracing.  Selfish as he was, he needed to hide against Megatron's chest.  Which was still burning.  "Not if it puts you in actual, physical pain."

With long, smoothing strokes, Megatron pet Rodimus' spoiler.  It sagged comfortably under his touch.  This always brought Rodimus almost immediate comfort, and today wasn't an exception.  He relaxed further into Megatron's arms and almost forgot what was causing them both so much stress.

"So... Even Drift?" Rodimus asked quietly. 

"Yes."

"That... explains a lot."  Rodimus gave a little laugh.  "Honestly, it makes me feel a bit better.  I thought he just didn't want me."

"Again, I hurt you."  The glow of Megatron's optics turned dull.

"Hey."  Rodimus cupped his chin, and when their gazes met, he repeated, "Hey.  I'm okay.  Really.  Drift and I get on fine as amica without bonding, and so will you and I.  I want to, yes, but there are other ways to show our love for each other."

A little smile played at Megatron's mouth.  Lifting Rodimus' hand to it, he kissed at the palm.  "I love you, Rodimus."

The numbers etched into his palm had long since healed, but he still felt their remains.  But when Megatron kissed at his invisible scars, they truly felt like they were gone.  Almost like they had never happened.

"I love you, too."


End file.
